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Relationship Conflict: Looking Inward

"“The people who trigger us, or cause us to feel negative emotions are messengers. They are messengers for the unhealed parts of our being.” -Teal Swan






In the heat of a conflict, it's natural to point fingers and place blame on others. However, learning to look inward when triggered can be a powerful tool for personal growth and conflict resolution. Rather than immediately reacting with accusations, take a moment to pause and reflect on your own emotions and reactions. Ask yourself why you're feeling triggered and what underlying beliefs or past experiences might be contributing to your reaction. This self-awareness can help you gain insight into your own patterns and behaviors, leading to more constructive ways of addressing conflict.


Practice mindfulness techniques to stay present and grounded when triggered. Instead of getting swept away by emotions, focus on your breath and bodily sensations to anchor yourself in the present moment. This can help you create space between the trigger and your response, allowing for more intentional and thoughtful communication. By cultivating this awareness, you can better understand the root causes of your triggers and respond with greater empathy and understanding towards both yourself and the other person involved.


Lastly, embrace a mindset of curiosity and openness when faced with conflict. Instead of viewing triggers as threats to be defended against, see them as opportunities for growth and self-discovery. Approach difficult conversations with a willingness to listen and learn from the perspectives of others, even if they challenge your own beliefs. By looking inward and taking responsibility for your reactions, you can transform conflicts into opportunities for deeper connection and understanding in your relationships.

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